Why Choose to Be Single

authentically you relationships Dec 12, 2023

Choosing to be single starts with having the opportunity to learn who you are and overcome the fear of being single, don’t let me lose you here as you join me in learning how singleness can help you to grow in YOU!


This is a topic that I have a lot of passion about because when you choose to be single for any period it can be very impactful on who you are. In this choice you must decide that personal growth is important and that you are going to work on loving your best company of you. Are there times you might be lonely? Yes, there are times you are going to be lonely, but that is true for everyone whether you are in a relationship or not. Throughout this blog post we are going to talk about some facts and ways to help understand singleness and why it could be an important stage in your journey.


There is a successful outlook that comes from our society on individuals in a relationship versus someone who is single, even if that relationship might not be the healthiest. Did you know that about 1/3 of adults are actually single? According to research, there is a good portion of our population who claim to be single. This means that there isn’t something wrong with you if you are outside the norm and are single — either voluntary or involuntary. You are able to take the opportunity of the time you are single and really get to know you through personal growth and more. The research shows that individuals who have chosen to be single are higher in their positive mental health and lower in mental health illness which may be a result of the time they are able to invest back into themselves on really giving to their needs.


There are benefits to being single: like being more in control of your time spent with flexibility to pursue life goals or having the ability to focus on personal and career growth while only having to consider yourself. Even how you are investing your resources is more open of how you spend your time, extra cash, and energy because you are meeting the needs of one. During your singleness you have the opportunity to pour into friendships and create deeper relationships because whomever, wherever and whenever you want to go on a trip or out-to-dinner you do not have to consider a partner in your decisions. This flexibility gives you the ability to build a network that becomes an integral part of your support system. This system is one that can help you to combat the times of sadness, loneliness, self-esteem, or any other problems that arise. One of my favorite ways to lean into my network when I was single (and even in my marriage) is to plan trips, lake days, lunch dates, or times together that are on the calendar to look forward to! These scheduled times help to give you anticipation with your people. In living a single life, you can learn how to live independently to come through challenges and learn to figure out responsibilities.


The beauty of this time is the ability of getting to know you because if you know who you are before a partnership, it will help you to present your needs. Research shows that during the time of singleness you have the time to really get to know you because of the available time for personal growth. You may have deliberately chosen to be single or not, but singleness can be valuable as you have the opportunity to grow and reflect on who you are before you are a partner. This could be pushing pause once a partnership has ended so that you have the space to reflect on you to see what changes and personal growth you would like to see as you move forward in life. If you jump from one relationship to the next relationship, then you miss the chance to reflect on your current situation to see in which areas you can grow best. In this opportunity to being single you can find it as a place to have familiar situation and context to foster reconceptualization, self-examination, and have terms to change. This is an opportunity to find the best version of you. Create a self-determination that helps in your personal development and growth that will follow you into a partnership.

Be happy single and find the best version of YOU!


I would like to note that if you are a single parent then there are definite aspects of singleness that incorporate considering the needs and time for your children, but there is still space for you to have personal growth within the time of singleness.  This could be from career opportunities needing to fit within a specific framework or exercise needing to happen in the times that you have childcare available. Remember that it is important for you to be whole and continuing your personal growth journey as you parent.

It’s about the journey, not the destination

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