Coming and Going — Choosing Yourself Through the Holiday Season

The holiday season often brings a whirlwind of gatherings, obligations, and unexpected changes in routine. It can be easy to feel pulled in multiple directions or to act in ways that do not reflect your true self. Handling the comings and goings of the holidays intentionally requires self-awareness and conscious choice and taking time to reflect on your needs, values, and boundaries is essential.  Authenticity does not mean acting the same way in every situation. Sometimes, you feel most like yourself when you stretch beyond your usual habits. A quiet, reserved person might feel fully themselves while joining in a lively conversation, and someone who is usually blunt may feel most authentic when they are thoughtful and kind. Even small shifts—like being more organized, patient, or open—can help you feel aligned with who you really are.

The holidays can be full of expectations, traditions, and bustling energy, but being yourself does not mean ignoring the season—it means showing up in a way that honors both the occasion and your own limits. You can laugh, chat, and celebrate while still honoring your needs and values. Flexibility does not equal compromise and adapting to situations thoughtfully can actually make you feel more true to yourself. Think of the season as a chance to practice intentional presence. Choose how you engage, pace yourself, and check in with what matters to you. By navigating the holidays with awareness, you can enjoy meaningful connections, share joy with others, and still stay grounded in who you are. 

Think of the season as an opportunity to practice intentional presence. Pause and ask yourself how you want to navigate busy or stressful moments with confidence and grace. By checking in with your priorities and energy throughout the holidays, you can enjoy meaningful connections and shared joy without losing your sense of self.

Here are some practical ways to stay grounded and intentionally you:

1. Create a “Non-Negotiables” List — Identify a few things that are essential for your well-being—such as needing quiet time in the evening, stepping outside for a walk, or avoiding certain topics in conversation. Treat these as boundaries you will not compromise, even in the middle of holiday busyness.
2. Use Mindful Pauses — Before responding to requests, invitations, or difficult questions, pause for a moment. Ask yourself, “Does this choice align with who I want to be?” This prevents automatic reactions and helps you act intentionally.
3. Practice Saying No Gracefully — Declining does not make you selfish. A polite but firm “I cannot commit to that, but thank you for asking” allows you to honor your energy and focus on what matters most to you.
4. Bring Your Own Traditions — Introduce small personal rituals or traditions that reinforce your identity. Whether it is your favorite holiday music, a mindful morning walk, or preparing a special dish, these practices anchor you in your authentic self.
5. Set Time Limits — If a gathering feels overwhelming, plan how long you will attend and stick to it. This gives you control over your energy and reduces feelings of being pulled in every direction.
6. Curate Conversations — Steer discussions toward topics that energize you or that you genuinely enjoy and politely disengage or walk away from conversations that drain you or conflict with your values.

 Ultimately, the goal is to move through the holidays deliberately, balancing the energy you give to others with the care you give yourself. When you approach the season with intention, you can experience joy, connection, and celebration without compromising who you are and choosing thoughtfully allows you to show up as your authentic self, rather than simply reacting to expectations or social pressures.